REQUEST NO #8

“Do not transfer me at the door as a delivered package. Please let the second parent in for a while and talk to him or her about how to lift my burden. Always, when you are together, these are little whiles for me when I have you both. Please do not destroy these moments by arguing.”

Transmitting of the child needs cooperation of both parents. It requests the parents to focus on the child. The stay of the child at the second parent should be planned. You have to say each other what things the child will need for the stay, what homework he or she should do, what afterschool activities should be attended, who will get the child there and who will pick the child up, whether the child is sick or not. During the transmission the parents should share how the child was and to plan the upcoming future.

All this are information where lots of accusations (it is as always, you never do anything, I told you that for hundred times), or appreciation (you made that really great together, thanks for what you have done) can be inserted. The choice is upon us. We are saying a message by our attitude about ourselves. Also, we transfer the child a pattern for dispute resolution.

The short moments at transmission can be by well-cooperated parents prolonged. Of a cup of coffee. Of a desk-game played together. Of a trip. These things are so normal in a complete family. Let’s try to make them normal also for our children.